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Jesus Must Die (legacy track, read note)

from Luxefer by Tom Arrow

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Disclaimer added in April 2021: I am not happy with this track anymore and not happy with myself having written it. While I think I didn't have the worst intentions while writing it, I think I would try to express the ideas of this song differently today. My intent with this song was a mockery of cult leaders who would portray themselves as divine when they were anything but. In hindsight, I suppose it was meant as a song about false prophets. Yet perhaps I inadvertently chose to represent them by the name of the only real one.

The real world circumstance that gave me the conceptual idea for the track was radical left-wing ideology (not liberalism in general though) which seeks to - violently, if necessary - silence dissent and unjustifiably accuse people of evil ("I didn't touch them, but they say I did that.") because the dissent is a threat to their power over truth ("they look at me, because I'm a danger") and create an oppressive utopia of "political correctness" ("they believe, this is paradise"). Yet under all the posturing, the same very imperfect people can be found ("without disguise, they see me as the devil") and the silencing of any truly free thought is suffocating ("the air's too clean all around, I find it hard to breathe"). Their hatred and violence is justified with the pursuit of "self-esteem" ("they gotta love themselves so they gotta hate me") and their own intolerance is masked as tolerance ("Accepted is everyone who feels like accepting").

When I wrote it years ago, I already felt slightly strange about it, but I thought that it was edgy and clever and that that outweighed that discomfort. That aside I didn't quite understand why it bothered me anyway. And perhaps it is indeed edgy and clever, but that's not all that matters to me anymore.

I still stand behind the originally intended message, but not behind using the name of Jesus Christ in a negative fashion to express it.

Not being a friend of censorship, not even of self-censorship, I am keeping the track up perhaps as a document of my own foolishness. However I'm adding this note, adding the "(legacy track, read note)" part to the title and I'm making it available for free as I don't feel good about the idea of wanting any money for it. I am also disabling the option to pay for this track. If you feel like paying money for this track for some reason, please donate to a honest charity instead. I'm also making a different song the featured song of this album - a much better song at that, I think. Perhaps I'll do a new version of this track with more fitting lyrics someday.

Thanks for reading.

lyrics

Look at me, I'm walking through the city of angels.
They look at me, they look at me, because I'm a danger.
In their midst, in their midst, stands Jesus Christ.
They believe, they believe, this is paradise.

I have torn off my garment and my bright shining halo,
I don't want to look like a biblical gaylord.
Without disguise, they see me as the devil, now
I am the catalyst of their own evil.

Bring me back to the ground,
I'm not good enough for heaven.
The air's too clean all around,
I find it hard to breathe.

I don't want to live in the sky,
but everybody thinks they fly,
so Jesus must die.

I am unprotected, cause I offer no safety,
they gotta love themselves so they gotta hate me.
Accepted is everyone who feels like accepting,
restricting the conflicts does require some friction.

As they turn to me, their faces turn black.
I didn't touch them, but they say I did that.
Wherever I go, the blackness unfolds;
my life isn't save here, I'm not their savior.

Bring me back to the ground,
I'm not good enough for heaven.
The air's too clean all around,
I find it hard to breathe.

I don't want to live in the sky,
but everybody thinks they fly,
so Jesus must die.

I am lying in the sun,
there they come.

Jesus leads them, cries 'Oh, see him,
he will lead the evil legions into paradise.'

In awe, I beg him: 'Jesus, save me.
Please come close, only you can help me.'

And as he touches my head,
I tear his clothes off and the people jump back.
Jesus is red, two horns on his skull;
his body is fire and together from heaven we fall.

Why do you reject my glory,
I was once the morning star.
I could have shown you the way
if you had let me stay.

And we fall.

And we fall.

Finally we see each other for what we are.

And we fall.

And we see each other for what we are.

credits

from Luxefer, released May 15, 2015

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