I want you to want to defeat me
I want you to want to beat me, life,
so I can bare my teeth alike
before I run into your knife.
Why do you tread so lightly on me,
why do you hide your threats so kindly, world,
I need your harshness,
please be ruthless and be true.
I want you to take a rise out of my fears,
want you to laugh at lies I engineer
in the attempt to be a man
without the certainty I can.
I want you to give me pain
I need to cover up my shame
that I never had to try too hard,
need no power to live in disregard.
I want you to test me, so much,
because I feel I want to rest so much;
wake me up,
keep me psyched, make me live my life.
Father, I didn't want you,
cause you're hard to satisfy;
but more I hate the emptiness
that I never can deny
and I can just decry
that no one made me try.
Please be my enemy,
I need my eyes to see
a reason for my pride,
I need a reason to fight.
I'm dependent on your rage,
your rules are bound to be my fate.
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